Wednesday, 13 October 2010
I hate conflict. I really hate it. At the moment I have a lot of conflict I my life. It's all coming from one place but it's a big part of my life. I'm not the sort of person who wants to play games or manipulate situations but I find myself looking for the next step the player will make and trying to be one or two steps ahead of the game. It's not going to work because this isn't my natural state and it's very hard to second guess a natural player. My whole world has become infected by this conflict. It's never far from my mind, I can't sleep properly and I can't concentrate. It's never far away. And yet, the person I am in conflict with apparently does not want this conflict either. I think that is the turning point, or at least a start in the right direction. I am worn down by this. I just want to be able to be me again. I like smiling!